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Do you ever feel that aging is like being on an escalator that you can't stop? Like clockwork, the age escalator is going to dump you off on a new floor each year - whether you like it or not. I just hit 50 (drum roll please.) This is the stop where each of us "should" pull into the hangar and have all of the parts checked out. It is a good time to take a hard look at ourselves: Weight, blood pressure, cholesterol, psa for the guys, a thorough blood work up, and a colonoscopy. Now I know many in this community come from some pretty hard-headed German stock, but we still need to talk about this. I had the procedure yesterday and it was much less painful than going to the dentist.
The hardest part is the colon preparation that starts about 48 hours before the examination. You have to wash out (putting it mildly) all the goods from your gut and this requires drinking a particularly obnoxious clear liquid that will guarantee extraordinary bowel movements over the next 48 hours. For me to drink a gallon of anything takes a miracle. I called my mom, in Texas, and said they must have got the dosage confused with a horse because no one could drink a gallon of that swill. In typical fashion, mom told me to quit my belly-aching and just drink it. (Nothing like moms to put you in your place.)
When you show up at the treatment center they sign you in and ask all the typically annoying questions consistent with a world run by attorneys. Next, I went into a prep room where I changed into the "butt" gown and had my vitals taken. My nurse (an absolute angel) gave me a small local anesthetic in the top of my left hand so the large IV needle wouldn't hurt. Since I would soon be in a most compromising position, and she is a constituent in my ward, I pleaded for her not to give away any of my "state secrets" when I went off to la la land. She smiled a smile I couldn't quite interpret and I smiled back at her...nervously.
Next they rolled me into the examination room where I met my doctor and he asked me why I was there (just to make sure we were all on the same sheet of music.) I said that I was in San Francisco for a sex change operation. I heard someone mutter from behind a mask that "we've got a real comedian here." Upon hind sight, it probably wasn't the smartest thing in the world to joke with a guy that is about to send a 10 foot probe up your poop-shoot.
Soon after that, they gave me the sleep juice and the next thing I knew, nurse angel was bringing me back from my slumber. I remember nothing and have zero discomfort, 2 days after the procedure.
Folks, get over your modesty and have this done...if nothing else, do it for the ones that love and depend on you. The following are some interesting facts that I have copied from the Mayo Clinic website:
Colorectal Cancer Statistics
Colorectal cancer is one of the most commonly diagnosed cancers in the U.S. In 2005 (the most recent year for which statistics are currently available)
• 72,007 men and 69,398 women were diagnosed with colorectal cancer.
• 26,781 men and 26,224 women died from colorectal cancer.
Colon cancer is cancer of the large intestine (colon), the lower part of your digestive system. Rectal cancer is cancer of the last several inches of the colon. Together, they're often referred to as colorectal cancers.
Most cases of colon cancer begin as small, noncancerous (benign) clumps of cells called adenomatous polyps. Over time some of these polyps become colon cancers.
Polyps may be small and produce few, if any, symptoms. For this reason, doctors recommend regular screening tests to help prevent colon cancer by identifying polyps before they become colon cancer.
Risk factors
By Mayo Clinic staff
Factors that may increase your risk of colon cancer include:
• Older age. About 90 percent of people diagnosed with colon cancer are older than 50. Colon cancer can occur in younger people, but it occurs much less frequently.
• African-American race. African-Americans have a greater risk of colon cancer than do people of other races.
• A personal history of colorectal cancer or polyps. If you've already had colon cancer or adenomatous polyps, you have a greater risk of colon cancer in the future.
• Inflammatory intestinal conditions. Long-standing inflammatory diseases of the colon, such as ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease, can increase your risk of colon cancer.
• Inherited syndromes that increase colon cancer risk. Genetic syndromes passed through generations of your family can increase your risk of colon cancer. These syndromes include familial adenomatous polyposis and hereditary nonpolyposis colorectal cancer, which is also known as Lynch syndrome.
• Family history of colon cancer and colon polyps. You're more likely to develop colon cancer if you have a parent, sibling or child with the disease. If more than one family member has colon cancer or rectal cancer, your risk is even greater. In some cases, this connection may not be hereditary or genetic. Instead, cancers within the same family may result from shared exposure to an environmental carcinogen or from diet or lifestyle factors.
• Low-fiber, high-fat diet. Colon cancer and rectal cancer may be associated with a diet low in fiber and high in fat and calories. Research in this area has had mixed results. Some studies have found an increased risk of colon cancer in people who eat diets high in red meat and processed meats.
• A sedentary lifestyle. If you're inactive, you're more likely to develop colon cancer. Getting regular physical activity may reduce your risk of colon cancer.
• Diabetes. People with diabetes and insulin resistance may have an increased risk of colon cancer.
• Obesity. People who are obese have an increased risk of colon cancer and an increased risk of dying of colon cancer when compared with people considered normal weight.
• Smoking. People who smoke cigarettes may have an increased risk of colon cancer.
• Alcohol. Heavy use of alcohol may increase your risk of colon cancer.
• Radiation therapy for cancer. Radiation therapy directed at the abdomen to treat previous cancers may increase the risk of colon cancer.
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